I had to find other ways to deal with my emotions and find some relief.  I began to wonder if there was something I was missing.
(Spoiler alert: there was.)

This led me down the rabbit hole of learning everything I could about feelings and emotions.  My focus shifted from trying to “fix” my son so I could feel better to figuring out how to "fix myself" and use what I was learning to feel better regardless of the circumstances.  And this changed everything.  

As I implemented practices that improved my emotional wellbeing I felt less stress and overwhelm on a consistent basis.  The benefits from learning how to manage my emotions in new and more successful ways didn't end there.  Bad habits I had tried for years to break finally gained some traction. Routines I'd struggled to put in place no longer felt so daunting. Best of all, I noticed myself responding to my son’s behaviors in more thoughtful, grounded, and effective ways.  It was a true win-win on so many levels. 

And that is why I do this work. Improving my emotional health has made a profound difference in all aspects of my life and most especially in my parenting journey.

And that is why I do this work. Improving my emotional health has made a profound difference in all aspects of my life and most especially in my parenting journey.

As a mom to a neurodivergent child I have seen a lot of challenging behaviors.  I get it.  The range of emotions that would accompany my son’s difficult behaviors were often overwhelming. And it wasn’t helpful that prior to having my son, I had spent decades trying to avoid and numb my own negative emotions.

My go-to for dealing with negative feelings would usually involve numbing behaviors, avoidance strategies, or trying to control everything.  While these methods often provided short term relief, the long term consequences almost always made me feel worse.  And when I felt worse what would I do?  You guessed it…more numbing, avoiding, and controlling.

So what does this have to do with parenting?

Having a neurodivergent child with challenging behaviors can bring up a ton of uncomfortable emotions a ton of the time.  Managing my emotions in the ways I had grown accustomed were not only ineffective but adding on even more stress.