Like many kids on the autism spectrum, airports have always been the kryptonite that would weaken my son even on his most regulated days.  However, since my in-laws live four states away and don’t fly, traveling by plane has been our only feasible option when it comes to visiting.  So we prepare as much as possible and make the annual trek. 

Well our last trip was a real doozy.  It started the day before with my son getting in trouble at school.  He was very upset and as many of you know, feelings for kids on the spectrum are often stronger in intensity and longer in duration than those of neurotypical children, which meant on the day of our trip my son woke up still very much dysregulated.  No letting things go here!

On the way to the airport he started sniffling.  And while we had TSA provide extra support in getting us through the lines faster, we still had to wait and wait and wait, because you know… it’s an airport.  

Whether it was the accumulation of challenges over the past 24 hours or “just one of those days”, my son was not having any of it and proceeded to have one of his worst meltdowns ever. This occurred about 30 minutes prior to landing which thankfully meant they couldn’t turn the plane around and kick us off.  

Long story short the experience left me physically and emotionally drained.  I was embarrassed, ashamed, overwhelmed, upset, and much like my son- very dysregulated. In the past this experience would leave me spiraling for days.  Things that were important to me would go to the wayside in favor of numbing, avoiding, or controlling behaviors in an attempt to make me feel better.   

However, this time my response was noticeably different and I credit this to my improved emotional health. Not only do I now have so much more awareness and understanding around my feelings and behaviors, but I also have a good amount of tools in my “emotional wellbeing toolbox” that I can draw from when needed. These tools and practices help me get back to a place of groundedness, calm, and clarity.

So…I spent the next 24 hours doing as many of those things as I could. This meant forgoing some family time so I could get some alone time. It meant doing some thought work so I could be more flexible with my expectations. It meant consciously coming up with a list of things I could do that would fill me up and then figuring out how and when I could actually do them. It meant practicing a lot of self-compassion.

Doing all of this made a huge difference. I was able to bounce back so much more quickly than I used to. And rather importantly, once I was more regulated I could look at the situation through a different lens (curiosity?  empathy?) which was essential… since I needed to figure out how we were going to fly back home :).